The Red Sox have ridded themselves of their major malcontent, Manny Ramirez, by trading him to the Dodgers. In the weeks leading up to the trade, it was obvious the relationship between club and star was deteriorating. I mean, just ask Buster Olney: it took Manny 5.7 seconds to run out a grounder; that's glacial in baseball terms!

As with any nasty breakup, both sides will try to paint the other as the bad guy. Manny had his turn yesterday, saying the Red Sox were a bunch of backstabbers. No word from the team.

I can only imagine what the writers, who no longer rely on Manny for interviews, will have to say...

• Manny Ramirez beats on the elderly.
• Manny Ramirez hates kids dying from cancer.
• Manny Ramirez fakes injuries.
• Manny Ramirez hits his teammates.
• Manny Ramirez hates the troops.
• Manny Ramirez didn't keep a promise that he made when he was in his teens.
• Manny Ramirez is the biggest bum ever.

Wow.

So, Mr. Callahan, why wait until Manny was traded to share this with his (former) fans? Were you afraid to write, "Hey, you know that guy you fans adore? He's a real jerk," when the fans still supported him? Were you under orders to keep that stuff quiet? What gives?

Now, I'm not defending Manny Ramirez. Most likely, he is a jerk. I just love how some writers sit on this stuff until after the fact.

Last night's All-Star game was a record-setting 4 hours and 50 minutes long. Please don't tell me you wasted your night watching (or even worse, live blogging) the game. There were so many things you could have done, like:

I firmly believe my prayers were answered when Justin Morneau scored to end last night's All-Star game. There is no other answer.

• Play 3,456 games of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Oddly enough, Clint Hurdle and Terry Francona would have played a best-of-one game if they ran out of pitchers.
• Watch Joey Chestnut eat 1,641 dogs. We here at the Undrafted Free Agent are confident that Joey Jaws will maintain his pace.
• Knockout Jose Canseco 7,293 times. That's a lot, even if it's just a rough calculation (read: random throwing together of digits). For the record, when I win, I will donate 85% of my earnings to the charity of my choice.
• Run the bases 864 times. Fatigue will never set in, allowing you to maintain a Prince Fielder-esque speed throughout.
• Watch the Chevrolet Man's dreadfully long MVP presentation 3.79 times. Just an aside: if anyone out there is listening, I need video of Chevrolet Man (like I needed proof that Roger Clemens used steroids) saying something like "baseball fans are awesome" before waiting for the fans to roar with their approval. The silence was deafening and really, really awkward.
  
• Write 57 kind letters to Florida Marlins second baseman under various names. Tell him to stay positive, that he is a fine defensive player. Forget that no All-Star has ever had as many errors in a single game.
• Reread the Mitchell Report twice and in its entirety. Notice how so few of the players named were at the game? They really are cleaning the game of steroids. Yeah, Bud!
• Change your mind about retirement no less than 5 times. Who cares? We don't have a legacy to ruin.
• Heat up no less than 1,193 times while playing a nostalgic game of NBA Jam, including 2,746 shots from downtown!
• Sleep.

What if Justin Morneau hadn't scored? Me thinks the game should have been decided on "rock, paper, scissors, chute!"

With so many activities to choose from, no wonder you decided to watch the All-Star game.

Umps are the regular targets of fans, players, and managers alike. The fan voices his displeasure from the stands or his couch. The players, on occasion, will get in the ump's face. However, the great umpire confrontations are between managers and the men in blue. So, we ask, which manager ejections and subsequent tantrums are the best?

8. Lloyd McClendon
The Pirates were 20 games below .500, and manager Lloyd McClendon was able to keep his cool. McClendon was finally able to let it all go on a questionable call. When an ump called Jason Kendall out on a close call at first, McClendon argued and got himself wrung up. He then pulled the base from the dirt and carried it back to the dugout, starting a new trend for managers everywhere.
7. Kash Beauchamp
Kash Beauchamp is another minor league manager unable to keep his cool. This time around, Kash appears to ask to ump to smell his shoe and his armpit. I'm going to guess he is telling the ump that he stinks, or something like that. Either way, he looks like an idiot that we can laugh at.


6. Bergin Tatham
Kicking dirt is acceptable. Screaming is acceptable. Stealing bases is acceptable. Really, as a manager, you can do anything short of striking an ump. Apparently, Enka High School baseball coach Bergin Tatham didn't get the memo.


5. Earl Weaver
If there was a Hall of Fame for managerial ejections, Earl Weaver would be a first ballot inductee. This particle tirades just makes me chuckle. Earl comes storming out, looking to take a piece out of the ump. The two go into a great exchange, the ump having to look down the entire time. (I think we have a new member of the Nate Robinson Complex Club.) That's great, but my favorite part is how upset he gets over a little finger-poking.


4. Butch Hobson
This next manager flip-out could have been avoided if the umps stuck with their original call, even if it was wrong. The men in blue were unsure whether the first baseman was on the bag. The first base ump called the runner out, but the home plate umpire overturned the call. Nashua Pride manager Butch Hobson had a conversation with the umps, getting thrown out in the process. Hobson decided to get his money worth. He ripped out the base, took it into the stands, and gave it to a young fan.


3. Lou Piniella
When it comes to managerial tirades, Lou Piniella is a five-tool manager. Screaming ability: check. Arm strength (a must for throwing hats or bases): check. Use of props: check. Creativity: check. Timing: check.

Piniella makes the list for his performance on August 21, 1990. After Barry Larking was called out on a close play at first, he argued the call. He threw his hat down and was ejected on the spot. Unwilling to be silenced, Piniella pulled up first base and threw it. Then he picked it up and hurled it again (must not have gone far enough the first time), sending it flying and rolling all the way into short right. This is the classic Piniella moment. Unfortunately, the video is nowhere to be found. So, how about a Sweet Lou self-parody in this Aquafina commercial?


2. Joe Mikulik
Joe Mikulik, manager of the Asheville Tourists, flipped out on the umps for calling a base stealer safe. He belly flops into second, rips it out, and gives the ump a closer look before throwing the base back. Mikulik continues with his tantrum, throwing bats, cleaning home plate (after covering it with dirt), and, overall, acting a fool.


1. Phillip Wellman
Mississippi Braves manager Phillip Wellman was thrown from a game and into baseball folklore with this tirade. After kicking dirt on home plate, he drew the umpire's strike zone in the dirt. Then he took third base and chucked it into the outfield. If that wasn't enough, he belly crawled to the mound, and tossed a grenade (or the rosin bag) at the umpire. Finally, he grabbed two bases and walked out of the field.


Did I miss a major managerial meltdown? Leave a comment!

In the sports world, which is dominated by size, there are bound to be a few figures lacking such girth. Just look at Nate Robinson. But which ten sports figures have the biggest little Napoleon complexes? Here's the list!

10. Daniel Snyder
Dan Snyder is a little guy who made it big, made big bucks, and now owns the Washington Redskins. He spends like he has something to prove, always pursuing big-named free agents and high-priced coaches. Who cares if he needs five body guards to follow his every move?

9. Jon Gruden
Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach Jon Gruden is intense and, at times, "verbally abusive" towards his players (and quarterbacks). How does Lincoln Kennedy, who played under Gruden in Oakland, view his former coach? "I'm 6-foot-7 and he's 5-foot-nothing. He's got the little scrunched up face, he takes shots at you ... to me, it's funny. It's hilarious when a little guy wants to rule the world," Kennedy said.
8. Juan Pablo Montoya
Listed at 5-foot-6, 159-pounds, NASCAR' racer Juan Pablo Montoya is a wee height-challenged man. He ignores that fact and gets feisty when a large camera man pops out of nowhere.

Thankfully, he is small and easily restrained by his wife.

7. Tom Cruise
No list of little guys who think too highly of themselves and their self-worth can be complete without Tom Cruise. If you need a sports connection, look at his roles. He played a sports agent and a race car driver.
6. Danica Patrick
Sure, there may be other psychological or biological causes of Danica's tantrum. I'll just say this one has to do with her exaggerated view of herself.

What is with racers?

5. Eddie Gaedel
Standing in at 3-foot-4, Eddie Gaedel is famous for being the shortest player in MLB history. But here's a little known fact: he had a temper. When he was walked on four straight pitches, the opposing second baseman laughed as Gaedel strolled down to first. The very next pitch, a double play ball was hit to the shortstop. Gaedel spiked the second baseman, breaking up the double play.
If you believe that, oh boy, do I have a deal for you!

4. T.J. Ford
T.J. Ford is 5-foot-11, 160 pounds, and susceptible to injury. But when he's mad, three grown men are needed to hold him back.

If I was referee Mark Davis, I would make it a priority to cherish everyday, knowing I came so close to death at the hands of "Feisty" T.J. Ford.

3. David Stern
David Stern is one of the more effective commissioners in professional sports (there isn't much competition, remember) ; the NBA is as profitable as ever. That being said, at some point (around the time Ron Artest flipped out), Stern became power-crazed and decided that the NBA was his league. He rules over the league like a tyrant, handing out suspensions for minor scuffles or making controlling new policies. How was absolute power placed in the hands of this diminutive man?

In other news, David Stern and his pal Clay Bennett have successfully killed basketball in Seattle after years of trying.

2. Ed Wade
Hey, did you hear former Astros pitcher Shawn Chacon grabbed GM Ed Wade by the neck and threw him to the ground!?!?? While Chacon was wrong, Wade does have a history of a Napoleonic history. According to Randy Miller, stories of Wade's tantrums were shared by players and team employees alike. In 2005, Wade became upset in a meeting and threw a chair in Charlie Manuel's office, breaking two of its legs. As for the Chacon incident, he escalated the situation when he lost his temper and cursed at the pitcher. The reason for Wade's anger? Chacon failed to respect his supreme authority by ignoring his request for a meeting. Wade seems to forget that he is this guy.
1. Nate Robinson
Has anyone ever fit the Napoleon complex bill better than Nate Robinson? At 5-foot-9, he is plenty short enough, especially compared to other NBA players. In the overcompensation department, "Nate the Great" always tries to act tough in an attempt to mask his height. He picked a fight with J.R. Smith, quarreled with fellow Knick Zach Randolph, fought with a naked Malik Rose in the shower, and went after Jerome James with a broom. We get it, Nate. You can fight bigger guys without getting killed!
Did I forget a notable Napoleon complex? Leave a comment! Tell me I'm an idiot!

Who knew adjusting a pillow could be so dangerous? Brandon Inge, who "couldn't even make this up," pulled his oblique Monday night after he stretched out to move his pillow. He is expected to miss two weeks.

Baseball has had its fair share of bizarre injuries, and Inge's would just be the latest. Where does it rank against baseball's all-time odd injuries?

Dishonorable Mention: Joel Zumaya
Originally, the Tigers staff believed the inflamation in Joel Zumaya's arm was caused by, I don't know, activities actually related to baseball. Then they found his problems were more consistent with another game, Guitar Hero.

Dishonorable Mention: Adam Eaton
In a way, I feel sorry for former Padres pitcher Adam Eaton. All he wanted to do was watch a movie. But no, those damn plastic wrappers stood between him and his DVD. So Eaton decided to pull out the paring knife. He accidentally stabbed himself in the stomach, leading to an ER visit. I think a smaller knife would have sufficed.

10. Mark Smith
When the air conditioning stopped working, Orioles outfielder Mark Smith decided to do some investigating. That is, if investigation means sticking just means sticking your hand in the air conditioner. Smith hurt his hand in the process.

9. Sammy Sosa
Sammy Sosa, along with Mark McGwire, placed MLB on his back, brining back the fans' interest. How could we have known his back was so weak. Sammy Sosa's back handled that heavy lifting and the first sneeze; it was the second one that brought out the back spasms. Sosa's double-barreled sneezing forced him to miss a game in favor of back treatment.

8. John Smoltz
John Smoltz is among the best pitchers of his generation. Still, he isn't above an odd (and preventable) injury. You see, Smoltz's shirt was wrinkled. Why not iron the thing? That's what Smoltz did, but he forgot to take off the shirt. He scalded himself with the iron.

7. Steve Sparks
Sparks, while playing with the Brewers, attended a motivational speaking seminar hosted. The group ripped phone books in half and blew up hot water bottles. Sparks was motivated to try it himself. He dislocated his shoulder while trying to tear a phone book in half.

6. Bret Barberie
Bret Barberie was a utility player who has two claims to fame: Jillian Barberie (his former wife) and a chili juice injury. Barberie accidentally jubbed the juice in his eyes, causing him to miss one game while playing with the Marlins.

5. Wade Boggs
Wade Boggs was a greater hitter, winning batting titles in the process. It wouldn't have hurt if, even just once, he was have practiced putting on shoes instead of hitting. Boggs once strained his back while slipping on a pair of cowboy boots. The injury kept Boggs out of the lineup for seven games.

4. Kevin Mitchell
Former slugger Kevin Mitchell has a long history with the bizarre injury. On one occasion, Mitchell was placed on the disabled list after apparently straining rib muscles while vomiting. Later, Mitchell was four days late for 1990 spring training when he was hurt eating an overcooked microwaved donut, leading to a root canal.

3. Greg Harris
Eating sunflower seeds is commonplace in a baseball dugout. Former Ranger Greg Harris learned the hard way that the seeds need to be taken seriously. He injured his wrist while flicking sunflower seeds.

2. Marty Cordova
Most baseball players tan naturally by spending many summer hours under the sun. Others choose to get their tan a different way. Not Marty Cordova. A visit to a California tanning salon provided baseball with one of its more bizarre injuries. Marty Cordova burned his face under some tanning lamps. The Orioles outfielder was ordered by doctors to stay out of direct sunlight for a couple of days. I'm sure he didn't get too much heat from his teammates for that.

1. Glenallen Hill
Nightmares can induce emotional and psychological stress. For Blue Jays outfielder Glenallen Hill, bad dreams brought on a more physical pain. Hill fell out of bed and crashed into a glass table while having a nightmare about being covered in spiders. Hill sustained several cuts in the process, leading to baseball's most bizarre injury.

Athletes work hard to build their reputations, their names. Throughout his career, Pacman Jones has done nothing but destroy his. As such, it's no surprise that, with a change of scenery, Pacman is trying to rebrand himself as a new man. That man is Adam Jones (Mr. Jones to you youngsters who, for your sake, better not be looking up to him).

Adam Jones is a talented man on the fast-track to success. To his teammates, he is a humble kid that hasn't let the hype get to him. Of course, this description doesn't fit Pacman (except when his people are trying to show he is a good guy, a victim of circumstances). But, it does fit Baltimore Orioles outfielder Adam Jones, who is in the unfortunate position of sharing names with a should-be felon (and having a really bad picture).

Considering the number of professional athletes, there's bound to be a few that have the same name. Some may be mistaken for a criminal. Others find it hard the escape the shadow of the name. But which athletes or sports figures are in the most undesirable positions?

Howard Webb (engineer) vs. Howard Webb (soccer referee who upset a nation)
I'm not an expert on soccer. This is what I gather of the situation. The referee called a late-game penalty against Poland. The penalty allowed Austria to tie the score at 1-1. The tie basically eliminated Poland from Euro 2008 contention. As you can imagine, the Polish people were angry. Both Webbs received death threats. Yeah, that wouldn't be good.

Ervin Johnson vs. Earvin "Magic" Johnson
I remember Ervin "Not Magic" Johnson as the Bucks backup center in NBA Live. I moved him to point guard, thinking he was the NBA great. I was disappointed (as was, I'm sure, Ervin when he was mistaken for Earvin).

Don't call me Magic! I'm one pissed off backup center, Rik!

Steven Jackson vs. Stephen Jackson
Steven Jackson, when healthy, is an elite NFL running back. Stephen Jackson -- between cold-cocks, gun fights, and general lawlessness -- is an exceptional offensive and defensive wing. It would be interesting to see what the average sports fan thinks when he hears the name Stephen Jackson: thug or fantasy football savior (when healthy)?

Just a quick side note: Stephen Jackson might not be that bad after all!

Evan Longoria vs. Notable Basketball Wife
Tampa Bay Rays third baseman Evan Longoria is one of baseball's bright young stars. Still, whenever I hear his name, I think of a certain housewife. I can't be the only one.

Jason "Jay" Williams vs. Jayson Williams vs. Jason Williams
In 2002, Jayson Williams, a former NBA player, was accused of killing his limo driver while he "played" with his shotgun. He then (allegedly) attempted to orchestrate a cover up. While these stories were in the headlines, Duke guard Jason Williams was working on making the jump from All-American to NBA superstar. He felt he needed to change his name to eliminate any connection to the other's crime. Jay Williams was born, never to be confused with Jayson or that White Chocolate guy (and I don't know which one is worse). How did that turn out?

Baseball Adam Jones vs. Adam Jones
When I google my name, I wouldn't want this stuff coming up. Interestingly enough, a google search for Undrafted Free Agent yields this guy.

Eddie Johnson vs. "Fast Eddie" Johnson
In August of 2006, "Fast Eddie" Johnson, a two-time NBA All-Star in the 1980s, was arrested for raping an 8-year-old girl. Of course, the Associated Press printed the picture of Good Eddie Johnson, the former NBA player turned Phoenix Suns commentator, with the article. Good Eddie said the mistake led to the worst day of his life. His friends, family, and colleagues thought he was a child rapist, and in my expert opinion, that would suck. Though the AP eventually fixed their mistake, Good Eddie believes the damage is irreparable.

Myron Cope, the legendary Pittsburgh Steelers broadcaster, was given an honor typically reserved for gods. The International Astronomical Union agreed to rename an asteroid "7835 Myroncope." Myroncope is 3 miles wide and located 88 million miles from Earth.

Now, this leads me to ask: which sports figures deserve to have celestial objects named in their name? And by deserve, I mean create a fairly decent analogy.

7. Mark Prior will donate his name to a meteoroid.
Mark Prior was so good, so young. At 22, he was arguably the best pitcher in all of baseball. There was no telling how good he was going to be. Five injury-plagued years later, we are asking if his career is over. Remember, meteoroids are also called falling stars.
6. The sun will be renamed after Chad Johnson.
Really, I could have gone with an egotistical wide receiver here. Chad Johnson is just the most recent who is under the impression that the world revolves around him.

5. Eddy Curry has been called a black hole. Thus, it is only fitting for black holes to be known as Eddycurrys.
If you will recall, Eddy Curry is a bad passer with a large gravitational field. His teammates will sooner orbit him than receive a kick-out from the post. For comparison's sake, a black hole's so powerful that nothing can escape its pull.

4. White stars will be known as Larrybirds.
Um, I think you understand the thinking behind this one.

3. The planet formerly known as Uranus will be renamed Kobebryant.
We all remember learning the planets as a youngster. We all remember the snickers that followed Uranus. Ha. Likewise, we will all remember that Kobe Bryant was a bit of an ass to his teammates. Really, this is just a perfect match.

2. Rogue planets can be named Bobbypetrinos.
A rogue planet is an object that resembles of planets, but is not bound to a star. This allows it to roam, on its own, through space. Bobby Petrino is a coach that resembles a coach, but his loyalties are not bound to a specific team. He is allowed to roam throughout the coaching ranks, following the money. The two are strikingly similar.

1. Dark matter will forever be referred to as Shane Battier.
Shane Battier is considered the ultimate intangibles player. He is a smart defender, but has never been flashy. The team plays better with him on the floor, yet he goes unnoticed. Really, Battier is to the Rockets what dark matter is to visible matter. (WikiDefinition: dark matter is a hypothetical form of matter that does not emit or reflect enough electromagnetic radiation to be observed directly, but whose presence can be inferred from gravitational effects on visible matter.)

Have you heard about Mauricia Grant? She is the former technical inspector who is suing NASCAR for $225 million. Grant alleges she subjected to racial and sexual discrimination, sexual harassment and wrongful termination.

Grant's lawsuit stems from harassment in the racing garages. Grant says co-workers called her "Nappy Headed Mo" and "Queen Sheba", told her that she worked on "colored people time", and intimidated her by referencing the Ku Klux Klan.

Oh, did I tell you that Grant is black?

Considering the history of NASCAR, it's no surprise that racism is prevalent in the sport. Honestly, it's probably expected. Given that fact, I ask: what would be less shocking than hearing that NASCAR is being sued for racism? Let's make a list!

10. After finding his personal happiness, Floyd Mayweather decides to come out of retirement to box another payday.

9. Hours before a key playoff game, Tracy McGrady sneezes, triggering a back injury. He misses the game and the second round. Again.

8. Kelvin Sampson, now an assistant for the Bucks, is fined by the NBA for tampering with opposing players.

7. The revelation by Pete Rose that Pete Rose did, in fact, bet on baseball. A few of us had figured that was the case beforehand.

6. Bill Belichick hired an assistant to videotape the "games" he "plays" with his girlfriend.

5. Clay Bennett moves the Sonics to Oklahoma City despite a national outcry.

4. Jonathan Papelbon and his bullpen-mates signed a baseball in exchange for a naked picture of some random fan's ex-wife. Wait, I wasn't surprised by this.

3. While attending USC, O.J. Mayo was funneled thousands of dollars from a prospective agent.

2. A group of Dallas Cowboys, led by Pacman Jones, have created White House 2.0. This time, it's located inside the locker room.

1. Roger Clemens had relations with a goat while playing for the Yankees. Seriously, at this point, I will believe anything about this man.

Two great tanks collided on Tuesday night as the Chicago Bulls and Milwaukee Bucks, both lottery-bound, combined to give up 286 points(or score, if you want to "glass half-full" about it). Like Chris Duhon said, "it was kind of like an All-Star game out there; no defense was being played." Of course, short of the All-Stars.

Thriving in this defenseless game was Bucks rookie point guard Ramon Sessions. Sessions set a franchise record with 24 assists. Adding 20 points, Sessions posted the first 20 points and 20 assists game in franchise history. Needless to say, this wasn't a typical game for Sessions. He spent most of the season in the D-League and has played in just 16 games.

With Sessions in mind, here are the Top 5 Scrubalicious Stat Lines in NBA History (That I Can Remember).

5. Milwaukee Bucks guard Ramon Sessions
April 14, 2008 against the Chicago Bulls
Stat line: 20 points, 24 assists, 8 rebounds

4. Memphis Grizzlies center Lorenzen Wright
November 4, 2001 against the Dallas Mavericks
Stat line: 33 points, 26 rebounds

3. Washington Wizards forward Tracy Murray
February 10, 1998 against the Golden State Warriors
Stat line: 50 points, 8 rebounds

2. Orlando Magic forward Bo Outlaw
April 17, 1998 against the New Jersey Nets
Stat line: 25 points, 10-11 FG, 13 rebounds, 10 assists, 5 blocks

1. Phoenix Suns guard Tony Delk
January 2, 2001 against the Sacramento Kings
Stat line: 53 points, 20-27 FG, 13-15 FT, 6 rebounds

With apologies to Willie Burton and Dana Barros, those were the Top 5 Scrubalicious Stat Lines in NBA History (That I Can Remember). And yes, we used the term scrub loosely.