Who would threaten a pregnant women? If she is carrying Jonathan Papelbon's baby and is his wife, a small minority of Yankee fans would. Or, at the very least, they would create a situation that makes her feel threatened.

That's what happened during MLB's All-Star parade down the New York streets. Now, we have video of some of the remarks directed at the couple.

For some crazy reason, I bet they heard worse.

Last night's All-Star game was a record-setting 4 hours and 50 minutes long. Please don't tell me you wasted your night watching (or even worse, live blogging) the game. There were so many things you could have done, like:

I firmly believe my prayers were answered when Justin Morneau scored to end last night's All-Star game. There is no other answer.

• Play 3,456 games of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Oddly enough, Clint Hurdle and Terry Francona would have played a best-of-one game if they ran out of pitchers.
• Watch Joey Chestnut eat 1,641 dogs. We here at the Undrafted Free Agent are confident that Joey Jaws will maintain his pace.
• Knockout Jose Canseco 7,293 times. That's a lot, even if it's just a rough calculation (read: random throwing together of digits). For the record, when I win, I will donate 85% of my earnings to the charity of my choice.
• Run the bases 864 times. Fatigue will never set in, allowing you to maintain a Prince Fielder-esque speed throughout.
• Watch the Chevrolet Man's dreadfully long MVP presentation 3.79 times. Just an aside: if anyone out there is listening, I need video of Chevrolet Man (like I needed proof that Roger Clemens used steroids) saying something like "baseball fans are awesome" before waiting for the fans to roar with their approval. The silence was deafening and really, really awkward.
  
• Write 57 kind letters to Florida Marlins second baseman under various names. Tell him to stay positive, that he is a fine defensive player. Forget that no All-Star has ever had as many errors in a single game.
• Reread the Mitchell Report twice and in its entirety. Notice how so few of the players named were at the game? They really are cleaning the game of steroids. Yeah, Bud!
• Change your mind about retirement no less than 5 times. Who cares? We don't have a legacy to ruin.
• Heat up no less than 1,193 times while playing a nostalgic game of NBA Jam, including 2,746 shots from downtown!
• Sleep.

What if Justin Morneau hadn't scored? Me thinks the game should have been decided on "rock, paper, scissors, chute!"

With so many activities to choose from, no wonder you decided to watch the All-Star game.

JTA, the self-described global news service of Jewish people, has a breaking news story for you: Jews make baseball all-star squads!

Yes, it's true. In fact, Jews outnumber Giants on this year's roster. "At least three players of Jewish descent" were named to the roster, though there may be more players with unknown Jewish blood powering their All-Star performances.

Red Sox first baseman Kevin Youkilis, who openly identifies as a Jew, was named a starter. Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun was also named a starter, but only identifies himself as half-Jewish. Ian Kinsler, Rangers second baseman and another half-Jew, is a reserve.

Thanks, JTA! I was worried that MLB would be Jew-less after Shawn Green retires, but I guess there will always be something^[1] drawing Jews to baseball.

1. The Undrafted Free Agent would like to apologize for perpetuating stereotypes. We are just frustrated that anyone found people of Jewish descent making an All-Star team all that newsworthy.